Porn Part Two
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In part one we looked at five ways porn harms marriage.  Let’s look further into this hot topic.
     Men are drawn to porn images to satisfy needs like comfort and validation. When they seek the same comfort from their wives through sex, the relationship falters because of the one-sided approach.
     When porn bleeds into the marriage, intimacy shrivels and connection short circuits - romance moves in reverse.  Seeking more, he gets less.  Rather than get more sexual, his wife is stripped of her femininity, feels inadequate, and the relationship deteriorates.
    
Keys to Sex
     We know men differ from women; men get stimulated visually and quickly; women relationally and more slowly.  So, stop approaching her sexually and connect with her.  If you seek to stimulate her the way you get stimulated using porn as a model, you add pressure.
     Pressure is a deal breaker, most men pressure their wives into sex and then wonder why she is “not into it”.  So find the key to each other, discover what your spouse likes. 

Intimacy unlocks marriage. 
     Connection unlocks intimacy.  Porn fosters neither connection nor intimacy and is therefore counter-productive to a strong relationship.  If porn lives in your marriage start a timetable to get it out and get help.  Talk about deeper needs and how to meet them. Talk honestly about anger, aggression, and how you differ on sex.
     Porn is a choice based on deep needs.  Make the choice to meet those needs via your relationship; get help to uncover the anger, fulfill the nurture, and arrest control and you will reverse a destructive process and save your marriage.