Porn Part 1
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Pornography damages marriages.  Whether introduced as a sexual aid or brought into a marriage as a lifelong habit, pornography's unique traits eventually tear relational bonds and drive a wedge between husband and wife.  Here’s why.

Porn is not sex - Men excuse porn as normal – it is not a normal expression of sex, porn is not sex.  Porn has little to do with relationship; it is a stimulus which the viewer attaches to a sexual need, fueled by the pursuit to meet a deeper need.

Deeper Needs - Men satisfy needs like comfort through sex.  When the needs are out of balance, some men turn to porn.  A man reaches through the arms of sex to find fulfillment, approaching his wife to carry out the acts he viewed only generates disappointment.  Feeling used, she is not motivated to meet his sexual need. He loses twice - his sexual need goes unfulfilled along with the deeper need.  The wedge drives deeper.

Solo flight - Porn is a solo activity neglecting the relational aspect of sex.  It excites visually without any consideration for the other partner – in porn there is no other partner only the viewer.  When that person seeks sex with his spouse she feels left out and the marriage suffers.

Anger – Every man I know involved in porn harbors anger. Portrayed from a man’s viewpoint porn aggressively acts out fantasies that satisfy non-sexual needs, the lack of which often create anger toward women.  Find the anger source and you will begin to diffuse the porn bomb.  Possible needs leading to porn: lack of nurture, rejection, no validation, little control.

Control – Porn usually portrays men in control over women; combined with anger this creates distance in the relationship because it cheapens the woman and disregards her needs.  Porn Help Part 2