Marriage Coaching

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Not Again!
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You’ve suffered enough with men who would not commit and you vowed never again.  You’ve struggled with women who spent money like coupons.  You paced yourself, but the one you’re seeing now shows well-known signs; you fall on your bed shouting, “Not Again!”
     Our emotional need for love can mask ugly realities allowing us to neglect our doubts and slip into the trap of accepting someone we should refuse.  Here are some handles to keep you on high ground.


Find the clues. 
He is always late and changing dates, it’s a clue – take it.  Ask his friends and family if this is his MO, if so, cut the cord; you cannot afford an unpredictable life.
     Her money is a mess, the last time her checkbook was balanced was the day she opened it; credit cards maxed, unpaid bills litter the house – get a clue.  She’s a money misfit and if you marry you’ll fight her till your dying day. 


Watch Out for Love
 
When you fall in love, you may cover a multitude of sins that later resurrect.  Occasionally, wake your head and nap your heart to see if you are overlooking the obvious and filling the gaps with excuses, “He’ll change once we’re married.”  People usually get worse when married.  Remember, you show your best behavior when courting.

Needs 
Marrying into your needs makes it easy to miss the clues.  Whether comfort, security, or affirmation, know your needs.  This is why a quiet man marries a talkative woman and later they drive each other crazy, “Quit talking!”  “Well, you sit there like a mummy!”
     Meeting your needs is good, but recognize the importance of personal growth and not being super reliant on someone else.


Values 
Finally, list your core values – principles necessary to life.  A core value may be faith, children, family, or a political orientation.  Your mate’s core values should match almost perfectly, if not think twice; mismatched core values can birth a “Not Again,” and you’ve had enough of those.