Expectations

Did you ever get in a stew because expectations did not match?  You wanted a quiet dinner; he invited 10 friends.  He wanted to make love, she hammers out office work.  Unmet expectations can create disaster.  What’s the answer?

Rather than drop expectations, take turns voicing them.

So, what are your expectations?  Laura and I voice our expectations daily. Often the night before we ask, “What’s going on tomorrow?” If one of us wants to be together we say so. If we are extremely busy we communicate it. “Hon, I have a busy day tomorrow, so I won’t have time to hang out.” If we have a need we say it. “I’d like to be with you this week, let’s meet for lunch.” Then we plan it out. “How about Thursday downtown for salad?” For a night together we voice the expectations. “Want to watch a movie? What time you want to start?”

One night we were going to watch a movie. I set up the DVD and waited. She was on the computer waiting for my signal while I waited for her. After 45 minutes of waiting I got upset. How miscues can ruin a night; now we communicate. “Let’s start the movie at eight.”

It is important to voice needs and not just wish honey would get it. Reading minds is tough. In different aspects of your marriage, think of your expectations and voice them in a loving way. Here are a few areas to peruse. More.

Categories Articles, Marriage Tips | Tags: , , , | Posted on October 19, 2010

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