Rejection in marriage usually happens over two needs.   The husband feels rejected over sex and the wife over attention.

Once you feel rejected it is tough to catch the plummeting emotions.  Here are a few tips to help keep rejection at a minimum.

First, understand your expectations.  A man will think of sex during the day and slowly build the expectation that it will happen. He may drop hints which his wife hears as matter of fact, or worse as a dread. The same can happen to her.

She feels the need to be together, do something special. He barely hears her hints. Soon either husband, wife, or both are reeling from rejection because their expectations were left to spoil. Learn to identify your expectation, to separate them from whims. We’d all like to go to Hawaii, but are you really itching to get away with him? Once you identify your expectation articulate it.

Our second step is to develop a culture where expectations are voiced. If you want him to take you out because you got a raise at work, let him know. And be direct, men are bad with hints. Laura and I voice expectations on just about everything. What time we plan on taking a walk, watching a movie, or being intimate.  Clearly vocalize your expectations.

“Hon, I’m looking forward to some intimacy with you.” “Honey, I want to go somewhere and spend time together, just us. How about a dinner out?”

Rejection can be complicated in marriage, but identifying and voicing expectations to each other will cut out much of the pain related to feeling rejected. You will feel connected to each other and less defensive.

More Articles will be added soon! We would love to hear from you.

Categories Articles, Marriage Tips | Tags: , , , , , | Posted on September 27, 2010

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